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how to support your wife as she is heading away to rehab for a year

by Kendrick Kovacek Published 2 years ago Updated 1 year ago
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Try to understand your spouse’s journey into sobriety and the obstacles and personal torment they’ve faced. Open the lines of communication. Talk to your spouse about the kind of support they need, taking care not to sacrifice your own emotional, physical or mental health.

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What should I do when my husband goes to rehab?

Feb 18, 2020 · While the spouse has been away in rehab, the spouse at home must maintain a focus on self-wellness. That means that in addition to getting restful sleep, eating nutritious meals, engaging in vigorous physical exercise, and staying hydrated—all, by the way, important aspects of the recovering spouse’s recovery plan—it’s also important to let go of anger and …

How can I help my spouse over the last 12 months?

Have a good look around your home because it is likely your spouse had substances stashed in places where you may not even think to look. Be Supportive. Depending on the facility where your spouse is receiving treatment, contact may be kept to a minimum during the early days and weeks. However, written communication is usually permitted. Avoid phoning your spouse in …

What to avoid when a loved one returns home from rehab?

Praise your spouse’s progress. Encourage them to go to 12-Step meetings and meet with their sponsor any time, even if it’s inconvenient. Prepare for setbacks. Even after completing drug rehab, your spouse may struggle on the path of addiction recovery. Hurdles can range from lying, manipulating and selfishness to full-blown relapse.

How can I help my loved one in rehab?

Sep 18, 2019 · Give encouraging phone calls. One of the easiest things that you can do is to call your loved one and to show them that you care. Sometimes just hearing a friendly voice from home makes a big difference in someone’s day. Many programs will have a period of no phone calls during the initial phase of treatment.

How to help your spouse with sobriety?

Try to understand your spouse’s journey into sobriety and the obstacles and personal torment they’ve faced. Open the lines of communication. Talk to your spouse about the kind of support they need , taking care not to sacrifice your own emotional, physical or mental health.

How to help your spouse with addiction?

Praise your spouse’s progress. Encourage them to go to 12-Step meetings and meet with their sponsor any time, even if it’s inconvenient.

What is the lowest point in a marriage?

One of the lowest points in a marriage may come when one spouse is battling an addiction to alcohol or drugs. There are challenges throughout the process of addiction recovery, from the feelings of powerlessness a spouse feels while their partner is actively abusing drugs or alcohol to the odd combination of hope and anger ...

What are the obstacles to relapse?

Hurdles can range from lying, manipulating and selfishness to full-blown relapse. Don’t take relapse personally. Your spouse’s recovery involves you, but it is really about them. If your spouse falls back into old patterns, continue to lend your support and get them back into drug rehab.

Why is early recovery so difficult?

Early recovery is sometimes the most challenging time for a married couple because of all the significant life changes happening in the first year of sobriety. During that time , addicts and alcoholics need to be somewhat “selfish,” focusing on themselves in order to maintain sobriety and rebuild their lives and their self-esteem. This can leave spouses feeling neglected and resentful.

Is it easy to recover from an addiction?

With the persistent threat of relapse, the emotional roller coaster can continue for many years. While addiction recovery is seldom easy – for either the addict or their spouse – getting support and giving support are two ways you can overcome the obstacles with your marriage intact.

How to support a loved one in rehab?

How to Support A Loved One While They Are Going through Rehab. Going through residential addiction treatment is not an easy task for a number of reasons. It is hard to be away from home for an extended period of time and it is difficult learning how to navigate life without the use of drugs or alcohol. Add to that the task of working on the ...

Do addiction treatment centers have graduation ceremonies?

If possible attend their program graduation ceremony. Most addiction treatment centers will have a graduation ceremony for people to attend upon completion. This is a very special event that acknowledges all of the hard work it took to finish the program. If you are able to make it then do so.

Is it normal for someone to be on an emotional roller coaster?

There are going to be days that the person will have lots of wins and gains and other days where things are hard and they want to leave. Understand and expect that your loved one is going to be on an emotional roller coaster during the course of their treatment. This is very normal and with time should level out.

Can you send a care package to a treatment center?

Just make sure to check with the treatment center before sending anything as there is often a list of items that will not be allowed into the facility. By making sure you are following the treatment center’s policies prior to sending the package you can help avoid any unnecessary upsets.

Can you call someone in rehab?

Not only is it thoughtless to call someone who is in treatment while under the influence, it can also be very destructive to their progress.

Is it good to learn about addiction?

It is a good idea to learn more about addiction and the recovery process. There are many books, websites and support groups available for people who have loved ones that are struggling with addiction. The more you learn about addiction the better equipped you will be to support and empathize with your loved one.

Get Counseling

The first thing a person needs to do to be a successful supporter of an addicted spouse is to get help themselves. After witnessing our loved one go through the depths of addiction, we experience our own set of negative emotions that cause lasting harm and injury.

Stop Blaming

The blame game that is a ritual of addicts’ spouses must be put to an end immediately. “I lost this,” “it is their fault this happened,” “we have no friends because” are hurtful statements that are vindictive in nature and have no place in the recovery process.

Strength in Numbers

Finding a support group after alcohol or drug treatment can work wonders for the healing process and it is true that there is strength in numbers. There are many support groups locally that have people just like you who are need of help and having confidence in knowing that we aren’t alone can build resiliency.

The Element of Trust

Trust is another big component of support for the addicted spouse. They need to know that you believe in them, and when they tell you they aren’t using you need to believe them.

Be Vigilant

As we watch out partners struggle with addiction, don’t be surprised if there is a relapse to bad behavior – it happens more than we want to acknowledge. Keep a caring, watchful eye on your spouse – you’ve been down this road before and know what addiction looks like, so you’ll recognize it immediately.

Contact An Admissions Counselor

If you have coverage of any kind from a major insurance provider, your treatment is likely covered!

What happens when a family member goes to rehab?

When a member of your household suffers from addiction, the entire family is affected. Helping your loved one make the decision to enter rehab is the first step of healing for everyone involved. After rehab is over, and your family member is ready to return home, there is still more work to do. Now you and the rest of the family will be involved in the continuing success of the addiction recovery program.

How to help someone in rehab?

Take care of yourself. You cannot be constantly engrossed in someone else’s addiction recovery, even when it is someone you love. Take time out for recreation, rest, fun and emotional release. Supporting a loved one’s transition from rehab back home is a major undertaking.

Why do people go to rehab?

Rehab can be an intensely personal experience in which people delve into emotions that have been buried for years. Usually, the reason he or she buried those emotions is because they were too painful to face. Rehab requires people to deal with these emotions and understand how they affect their behavior, but sharing those rehab experiences with anyone outside the program can be impossible.

How to help an addict in rehab?

In rehab, addicts learn the importance of being open and honest. Do not keep secrets from your loved one because you think it is better not to talk about certain topics.

What is addiction recovery?

Addiction recovery is about striking a new balance in life after rehab, taking control of your own actions and letting go of the need to control things outside of yourself. Your loved one is working on their internal acceptance, and will then have to figure out how to rebuild relationships with others.

Can a loved one come home after detox?

Your loved one has successfully completed detox and rehabilitation, so he or she can come home and work on the next stage of recovery. He learned a lot of things about addiction and himself, and started building a new self-relationship – one that is healthy and realistic.

What to do when someone comes home from rehab?

When your loved one comes home from rehab, he may still be working on his communications skills, and you can help with that. Have a calm and open conversation about how you would like everyone in the household to behave. Come to an agreement on some ground rules.

What to do after addiction?

Healing after addiction means you have to remember what makes you smile, what makes you vibrant, and what makes you, you. Try to think back to who you were before addiction took over your loved one’s life – and before it took over yours.

Is addiction a family disease?

Everyone knows that addiction is a family disease. Much like cancer – when someone is stricken with the disease of addiction EVERYONE is affected. And often times, not knowing what to do can be harmful to your loved one who has recently graduated from an addiction recovery program. But families that have seen addiction first hand aren’t always ...

How to trust your spouse after addiction?

Stay aware. That said, trust after addiction is a leap of faith. If you see your spouse is making an effort to change and live righteously, it’s on you now to try to trust them. Start with the little things and work your way up to the big ones. Pray often and operate within a healthy boundary. Remember: boundaries are healthy, “putting up walls” is not.

How to recover from addiction?

Top Ten Tips for Relationship Recovery after Addictions. 1. Treat your marriage like a new relationship. The person you fell in love with in the beginning of your relationship may never come back but that means, neither will the monster who came out during it. 2.

What does the Bible say about being one flesh?

The Bible teaches that when a man and wife are joined they , “Become one flesh” with one another (Gen. 2:24). Well, addiction breaks your “oneness”. You’re now two people in completely different places and you’ll need to meet in the middle (and hopefully, get busy becoming one flesh again!).

Who is Leah Grey?

Leah Grey runs a faith-based online ministry for women with loved ones who struggle with drug and alcohol addiction. She challenges popular beliefs about addiction and encourages women to support their loved ones’ recovery, without abandoning them, by creating healthy boundaries.

Do not let the sun go down on your anger?

I’ve heard it said many times, “Do not let the sun go down on your anger”. In fact, it’s even Biblical (Eph. 4:26). The old adage is obviously great advice but when your relationship has gone through the turmoil of an addiction, it takes a lot more than a sweet word and a soft kiss to make things better. What we really need to do is to focus on the first part of the verse, “Do not sin in your anger”. It’s okay if things are not okay but it’s not an excuse to lose your self-control. Take the pressure off and talk about it in the morning or better yet… with a therapist.

What happens when you get sober?

When an individual gets sober, he or she learns how to confront suppressed feelings and uncomfortable triggers. In other words, people learn a whole new way of living. Such changes, undoubtedly, have their obstacles.

What is addiction in family?

Addiction represents a family disease. That means every member plays a part in the dynamic. By learning to identify your part, you can learn how to set healthier boundaries for yourself and with your loved one. Believe it or not, many people in rehab wish their families or friends would obtain their own support.

What does it mean to be nonjudgmental?

Providing a nonjudgmental space indicates that it’s safe for your loved one to be honest with you. Ask your loved one what they’ve found challenging. You don’t need to provide direct advice, but you should be willing to listen. In addiction treatment, there’s a common expression that secrets keep you sick.

Is addiction a complicated problem?

It’s often wrapped in layers of deceit, shame, and denial. There’s a good chance that you don’t know the true extent of how much your loved one has struggle d.

Is addiction a medical condition?

Addiction is a chronic disease and a medical condition. Relapse, therefore, can be a part of the recovery process. Furthermore, both physical and psychological dependence play a significant role in maintaining addiction. Most people with addictions have the desire to stop using or drinking.

Is it easy to get sober?

Just like getting sober isn’t easy, choosing to attend treatment isn’t easy, either. After all, reaching for help requires setting aside some pride and ego to make such a big decision. Addiction can impact every area of one’s life. Taking the step to challenge that status quo is brave. It’s also incredibly scary!

What to do before a loved one leaves rehab?

Before your loved one leaves rehab, he will sit down with counselors and develop a detailed aftercare plan. This will make his transition back into the “real” world much easier.

What to do if your loved one relapses?

Be Afraid of Sparking a Relapse Despite the myths, nothing you do or say you can cause him to relapse; you simply don’t have that much power. If your loved one relapses, it’s not your fault. You didn’t force him to do anything. Be honest about your feelings, without the fear of the consequences.

How to avoid making your own recovery plan?

Avoid Making Your Own Recovery Plan This is especially important if your addicted loved one is a teenager or still living at home. Make sure the plan has doable, realistic goals and consequences if he fails to meet those goals. Bring up the Past It’s a given that your loved one hurt you with his drug use.

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