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what to tell toddlers when daddy's in rehab

by Clay Wilkinson Published 2 years ago Updated 1 year ago
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When explaining rehab to a child, try using some of these tips to help you get started: “Mommy/Daddy is sick and needs to go see a doctor.” “Mommy/Daddy is leaving to go to a special hospital.” Younger, yet more mature children, may ask what you are sick from.

How to Tell Your Kids You Are Going to Rehab
  • Deliver News in an Age-Appropriate Way. ...
  • Give an Idea of How Long You Will Be Away. ...
  • Clarify Changes to Their Routine During Your Absence. ...
  • Explain What Rehab Is. ...
  • Explain How You Will Stay in Touch. ...
  • Ask How Your Child Feels About It. ...
  • Offer Support.
Sep 14, 2018

Full Answer

How do I talk to my kids about rehab?

Explain that addiction is a complex disease that cannot be blamed on anyone and that there is nothing that your child did to cause it. Encourage your child to ask questions and express their emotions freely. Let them know you won’t criticize them or react angrily. Help them to understand it’s okay to ask for help.

How do you tell your children when your dad is sick?

It is also a good idea to ask your child questions to make sure they properly understand what you are saying. Provide your kids with information about the rehab. This could include showing them pictures of where you are going to be staying.

How can I talk to my child about their drug addiction?

Oct 05, 2020 · Be sure that you reassure them that they didn't cause the addiction and there's nothing they could do to prevent their parent from drinking or using drugs. Reassure them that their parent loves them, but that they have a disease and need help. Also, remind them that you love them and are there to support them.

How can I talk to my child about their parents'addiction?

Feb 18, 2019 · Let them know that rehab is only temporary. Manage Your Emotions Don’t have the rehabilitation talk with your kids until you can control your emotions. Seeing you scared, crying, or upset can frighten your kids and make them think you are going someplace bad or dangerous.

How do you tell your child their dad is on drugs?

Be sure that you reassure them that they didn't cause the addiction and there's nothing they could do to prevent their parent from drinking or using drugs. Reassure them that their parent loves them, but that they have a disease and need help. Also, remind them that you love them and are there to support them.Oct 5, 2020

What do you say to your kids when their dad leaves?

I am so sorry that daddy made a choice that hurt us when he left, but this was not your fault. He is not a bad person, he just made a bad choice that hurt a lot of people and I am really sorry that it hurt you. I love you. I love you more than any daddy ever will because I will always love you the most!'Jul 30, 2014

How do you explain drugs to a child?

Keep your tone calm and use terms that your child can understand. Explain that drugs are dangerous and can cause lots of problems in the body. Teach kids early on how to say no if someone offers them something they know is dangerous.

How do you talk to your kids about alcohol?

How to talk to your kids about alcohol, according to substance...Start the conversation early (and have it often)Start when they're young.Little kids will ask questions — don't shut them down and have answers ready.Be open about your drinking habits.Same goes with any Rx pills.More items...•Apr 30, 2018

How do you talk to your toddler about their absent father?

How To Talk To Your Child About An Absent FatherAnswer all questions simply and generally. ... Never speak ill of the other parent. ... Always validate their feelings. ... Reiterate that it's not their fault. ... Make a list of the dad's good qualities. ... Identify father figures in their life now.Nov 30, 2017

What is the most psychologically damaging thing you can say to a child?

Luke adds that "the most psychologically damaging thing you can say to a child is a lie that they find out later was not true. If this pattern repeats enough times, it will be very psychologically damaging."Jan 12, 2016

What age do you tell kids about drugs?

Experts suggest that you start talking about drinking, smoking, and using drugs when your child is between ages 5 and 7, and that you keep the discussion going.

How does drugs affect a child's development?

When a child is born already addicted to drugs, it can cause many physical and developmental issues for them in early life and down the line in adulthood. This includes medical disorders affecting their organs due to delayed development in the womb, but also mental disabilities or underdeveloped cognitive abilities.Aug 29, 2018

How do you say no to drugs?

In a firm voice, tell the person you don't want to drink or use drugs. Say something like: - "No, I'm sorry, but I don't use...." - "No, I'm really trying to stay clean." - "No, I'm trying to cut back." Give a reason why you don't want to drink or use drugs.

How do you calm down a drunk parent?

Some people:try hard not to upset a parent who drinks too much.try to stay out of a parent's way.may not speak up, or ask for what they need.keep their feelings to themselves.keep their parent's problem a secret.hide what their life is like at home.More items...

Is alcohol bad for toddlers?

There is no acceptable amount of alcohol that is considered safe for children. Children metabolize alcohol faster than adults. This means that even a small amount of alcohol can lead to higher blood-alcohol concentrations. This can lead to low blood sugar, coma, and problems regulating body temperature.May 19, 2021

What does alcohol do to a child's brain?

Alcohol is a depressant that affects the brain by causing the brain to slow down. Alcohol can affect your child's brain which continues developing into their early twenties. Alcohol can negatively impact on your child's problem solving skills and performance at school.

How to help a child with addiction?

Explain that addiction is a complex disease that cannot be blamed on anyone and that there is nothing that your child did to cause it. Encourage your child to ask questions and express their emotions freely. Let them know you won’t criticize them or react angrily.

What to consider before leaving for a recovery program?

It’s important that you explain the situation in age-appropriate terms, map out a detailed plan of how to maintain stability for your child while you’re gone, and emphasize that your child is not to blame for your substance use.

How does substance abuse affect children?

The effects of your substance abuse on your children are unpredictable and often severely damaging. Many children of substance abusers continue the cycle of drug or alcohol abuse themselves. The good news is: you can stop the cycle by seeking help for yourself and beginning on the road to a healthier and happier life.

What are the effects of substance abuse on children?

Children who are raised in a substance-abusing environment often experience behavioral, social, emotional, and cognitive issues as a direct result of the drug- or alcohol-abusing environment. They also have an increased risk of future substance abuse and addiction themselves.

How does counseling help children?

Counseling can help them to process their feelings and learn how to express them openly. It can also help to prevent negative behaviors in the future, including substance abuse. Your children may benefit from either individual counseling or involvement in family therapy (or both).

What to do if you return to drug use?

If you return to drug or alcohol abuse, ask for help right away. Contact a loved one, your sponsor, your therapist, or a rehab program. If you try to lie or hide your return to drug use, the guilt and shame may weigh heavily on you and you will be less likely to get back on track with your sobriety.

Why do kids leave for a short period of time?

Leaving for a short period of time to get sober can help to restore your children’s trust, security, and connection.

Explaining the Need for Rehab to a Child

If you have been drinking or using drugs, it will almost certainly have had an impact on your home life. If you have been a high functioning addict, you may have been able to hide much of this behaviour but children have a great ability to sense when something is wrong.

Tips for Explaining the Need for Rehab to a Child

The most important thing when having this type of conversation with a child is that you take into account their age and maturity. There is not much point going into a long explanation of addiction for a five year old, and too much information could be a bit overwhelming and confusing.

Why should kids refrain from experimenting with drugs?

So, they should refrain from experimenting with drugs and alcohol, because the chances of them developing an addiction like their parent is higher than it is for other kids.

What do children with addictions need to know?

Additionally, the National Association for Children of Alcoholics (NACoA) indicates that there are four messages that children with addicted parents need to hear. They need to know that addiction is a disease that they cannot control and that it's OK to talk about it—even if they have been told not to. And, most importantly, they need ...

What happens when you live with an addicted parent?

Living with an addicted parent is often chaotic, lonely, and even scary—especially if the family breaks up because of substance abuse. Even if children are not removed from the home, living with a parent who abuses alcohol or other substances may cause kids to become withdrawn and shy, while others can become explosive and violent. 1 

How to teach kids about addiction?

But also remind them that addiction is a disease. Children need to be reassured that their parents are not "bad" people. Instead, they have a disease that causes them to make bad choices.

What do addicted parents do?

Sometimes addicted parents also will do things that are embarrassing, like show up for a school function intoxicated, slur their words when talking with a teacher, or explode in anger at a basketball game. All of these things are extremely hard on children, no matter how old they are.

How old should a child be to talk about the world?

You want to be sure you're sharing accurate information. Likewise, you should keep your conversations age appropriate. For instance, for kids younger than 10 years old, you need to remember that they still view the world from a me-centered perspective.

Why do kids feel abandoned?

And they often feel abandoned due to the emotional unavailability of their parents.

Have An Open Conversation About Addiction

Don’t hide what you’re really going through from your children. Starting an open, honest conversation about your substance use disorder can normalize important issues relating to addiction and mental health. If your children are too young to understand, give at least a basic explanation of what’s going on.

Get Better For Your Kids

Don’t worry about how your children will handle you going to rehabilitation. Worry about what might happen to them if you don’t seek treatment for an addiction. Battling addiction to drugs or alcohol with children involved can lead to serious consequences, such as them seeing you incapacitated or driving them around while under the influence.

Successful Drug and Alcohol Intervention Stories

We really appreciate all that you have done for our family, we couldn't have done any of this without you. We know that you have sacrificed time with your wife and daughters in order to be there for us and we can never thank you enough for that. What you do for families of addicts and alcoholics is truly a gift, one we will always be grateful for.

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How to help a child with anger?

Give your child an opportunity to ask questions and share how he or she feels about the news you have shared. If he or she expresses anger, fear or sadness, remind him or her that there are no wrong feelings. If your child has no emotional reaction at all, be prepared for delayed reactions at a later time.

What do kids need to thrive?

Kids of all ages need a schedule and predictability to thrive. If different arrangements will be made for their childcare, school pick-up or extracurricular activities, you or a trusted caretaker should explain these changes as clearly as possible. A written schedule or calendar may be helpful.

How to explain treatment center rules?

Explain the treatment center has rules about how often you can use the phone, facetime or email. Tell your child how often you will try to communicate, but do not make promises. Explain while you would like to stay in touch while away, it is your child’s choice to communicate with you or not.

How to deliver news to a child?

Deliver News in an Age-Appropriate Way 1 Toddlers. Keep language simple and concrete and avoid unnecessary details. It may be appropriate to say, “Daddy is sick and needs to go away to a place where doctors can help him get better.” 2 School Age. You might approach the conversation by asking if the child has noticed any changes in your mood or behavior, such as, “Have you noticed that Mom has been really sleepy or cranky lately?” Explain these changes are tied to an illness called addiction and that you will be going to a safe place where you can get help from doctors. 3 Teenagers. Be direct and factual. Explain you are sick and have an illness caused by an addiction. Acknowledge the basics of how the addiction has affected your mood, behavior, work or relationships. Explain to your teen that doctors recommend you seek medical treatment in a setting where you can focus on getting better 24 hours a day.

Is it important to explain to kids that they are living in a hospital?

While it’s important to explain you will be living in a medical setting and cared for by doctors, also emphasize you will not be confined to a hospital bed or room. It may be helpful to show your kids pictures of the facility that display a variety of treatment settings and activities.

How does addiction affect the family?

Addiction disorders disrupt and hurt the entire family. An addicted parent’s behavior while under the influence can be disturbing or even traumatizing to a child, and the other parent will often have to deal with the aftermath. Other family members may have watched this for a long time, feeling helpless.

What should temporary caretakers do?

The temporary caretakers should take care to check in with the kids regularly to see how they’re feeling and if they want to talk about the absence of their parent or the knowledge of the parent’s addiction disorder. It’s important to remember that children are not the ones who should be required to support the parent.

Why do people delay going to rehab?

One of the top reasons that people delay going to rehab is because of the difficulty of making arrangements for children. This is part of the reason why only 2.6 million out of the 23.5 million people with substance abuse problems in the US receive treatment. Many addicted parents fear that their children will end up placed in foster care if they seek addiction treatment. Even after getting clean, it can be difficult to get back custody of their children, and being removed from their parents can be a disturbing and even traumatizing experience for kids.

How long does it take to get out of rehab for a parent?

Many of these programs last for around 7-10 weeks, though overall treatment, including outpatient care and aftercare, is recommended to be much longer.

How long does meth stay in rehab?

One 2006 study suggested that those addicted to methamphetamine should be in active treatment for an average of 410 days. The residential programs themselves, however, do not usually last for more than a couple months.A good rehabilitation center will focus on combating shame in the addicted parent.

What are the expectations of parents and their families of aftercare and recovery?

Expectations for parents and their families of aftercare and recovery. Jump to Section. Before Rehab. During Rehab. After Rehab. It can be very difficult for a child to go without a parent for a long period of time, no matter what the situation, if that child is used to the parent being around. Children need consistency ...

Why is it appropriate to explain to a child that their parents are using drugs?

If the children are older and likely to have noticed the substance abuse, it may be appropriate to explain further that the parent’s drug or alcohol use is happening because of an illness and treatment is needed in order to stop.

Age Appropriate Conversations

How old are the children you’ll be talking with? Before you start planning the details of your conversation, first take into account the child’s age.

Why Age Matters

You may feel your child is more mature than others around their age. This may be true when it comes to school work, chores, or other aspects of their life.

Finding the Right Time

When’s the right time to talk about the drug rehab center? You know your children’s schedule and lifestyle better than anyone. When considering a time to have your talk, take into account the following factors.

Give Details About the Drug Rehab Center

Ever wonder the reason children ask, “why, all the time. Children are by nature, curious creatures and want to explore the world around them.

Know Yourself What to Expect

Make sure you also have a clear understanding of what to expect during your stay. You’ll want to know all of the program’s features and benefits before you arrive. The more you know, the calmer you’ll be. When you’re calm, your kids will instantly be more calm and open to discussion as well.

Control Your Emotions

You finally feel ready to sit down and have a talk about rehab with your kids. You’ve created a script, found the perfect time, and you know why you’re doing this.

What to Do During Break Downs

Ideally, your kids won’t even notice your struggling with tough emotions. Yet, the ideal version isn’t the most likely scenario to occur.

How to tell your child you are going to rehab?

How to Tell a Child that You are Going to Rehab for Treatment. Once you are able to fully admit to yourself that you have a problem, you have begun on the right path; deciding this takes a lot of conviction, courage, and strength. However, it is common for parents to feel they should not tell their child/children that they have an addiction ...

How to explain to a child that you are leaving to go to rehab?

Explain Communication While you are at Rehab. Once the child understands that you are leaving to go to rehab for treatment they may want to know how they can talk to you. Let them know that rehabs have rules and you may not be able to call them too often, especially in the beginning.

How to help a child who is not able to keep it together?

If you feel that you are reaching a point where you will not be able to keep it together, take a deep breath, regain your composure, and continue. At the same time, be sure the child understands that it is okay for them to have feelings of sadness or anger and that you will listen to them if they have anything to say.

What to expect when returning from rehab?

Upon returning home from rehab, although your children may be joyous that you are home, it may also be a difficult time. The child may not know what to expect or may not know what you will be like now that you are sober. You may also have a difficult time adjusting to this new life, in this case, be sure to allow any necessary space for not only your children, but also yourself. Most importantly, remember that things will get better, much better; always take it one day at a time. Additionally, family therapy is offered in most area throughout the world, and this is an option that may be useful.

How to explain addiction to kids?

Explain Addiction. When sitting down with your children, begin by explaining what addiction is and how it is considered to be a medical illness. As soon as you explain that you have an illness, immediately tell them that you are going to a special place where good people will help you get better. By telling the child this, they will not become ...

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