RehabFAQs

how to deal when a spouse goes to rehab

by Oral Farrell PhD Published 2 years ago Updated 1 year ago
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Most rehab programs restrict their patients’ outside communications for the first few weeks, but consistent support is crucial after that time. Spouses should send letters of encouragement, make phone calls, and visit when possible. Even more importantly, they should attend family therapy sessions.

Full Answer

How can a spouse help a loved one get into rehab?

It’s true that couples should spend time together, but not to the point where a temporary stay in a rehab center should be off-limits. Codependent people may have a lack of boundaries, fear of abandonment, an unhealthy sense of responsibility for the other person, and a need for approval. Take Care of Yourself

How can I help my husband in his recovery from addiction?

Among the best tools at your disposal to help you deal with the residual effects of living with an addicted partner is a family recovery program. Programs such as these can be precious to assist family members in healing and preparing them for life with their loved ones post-rehab.

What to avoid when a loved one returns home from rehab?

Jun 04, 2019 · Cutting off enabling behavior will usually lead to your husband or wife being frustrated or angry. Setting boundaries that define what will and will not be tolerated can help you identify where your limitations are. Creating boundaries also helps you stand your ground if those boundaries are crossed.

How can I help my spouse with a drinking problem?

Nov 03, 2016 · Here are some important ways you can help support your spouse after rehab: Get Counseling. The first thing a person needs to do to be a successful supporter of an addicted spouse is to get help themselves.

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What is the percentage of people who stay sober after rehab?

According to the Discovery Institute, one in five people who complete addiction treatment will stay sober during their first year in recovery. This means that nearly 80% of people will relapse at some point during that first year. Additionally, there is a 40% chance of relapse during the first two years of recovery.Apr 1, 2021

What is the best way to deal with relapse?

What to Do Right After a RelapseReach out for help. Seeking support from family, friends, and other sober people can help you cope with a relapse. ... Attend a self-help group. ... Avoid triggers. ... Set healthy boundaries. ... Engage in self-care. ... Reflect on the relapse. ... Develop a relapse prevention plan.Feb 8, 2022

What happens after you come out of rehab?

After completing detoxification and inpatient rehabilitation, a person in recovery will return to normal life. This includes work, family, friends, and hobbies. All these circles and events can trigger cravings and temptations. Research suggests most relapses occur in the first 6 months after treatment.Dec 14, 2021

How do you convince someone to go back to rehab?

Convincing someone to go to rehab can be difficult. But in many cases, it can be done....Here's how:Get educated. ... Plan an intervention. ... Avoid negative emotions and attitudes. ... Consider professional intervention. ... Don't wait until it gets worse.

What steps are you taking to avoid a relapse?

The top 10 relapse prevention skills include:Self-Care. Common post-acute withdrawal symptoms when recovering from addiction include insomnia and fatigue. ... HALT. ... Mindfulness Meditation. ... Know Your Triggers. ... Join a Support Group. ... Grounding Techniques. ... Deep Breathing. ... Make An Emergency Contact List.More items...•Oct 24, 2019

How long does a relapse last?

In relapses, symptoms usually come on over a short period of time – over hours or days. They often stay for a number of weeks, usually four to six, though this can vary from very short periods of only a few days to many months. Relapses can vary from mild to severe.

What is total abstinence?

While stimulant addicts are of course at the highest risk when using stimulants, “total abstinence” means avoiding other psychoactive substances as well.

What is the aftermath of addiction?

Excessive use of alcohol and drugs can lead to mental and physical health issues, some of which include anxiety, depression, diabetes, liver disease, and heart disease. Many of these conditions may improve after recovery, but some may linger and diminish the quality of life.Mar 31, 2019

What did Chris feel was the contributing factor to finally getting sober?

32. What did Chris feel was the contributing factor to finally getting sober? Chris believed the factor of finally getting sober was going to the pot sink, and having to wash dishes for 18 hours a day at rehab. 33.

How do you convince someone to get treated?

Five Ways to Convince Someone Go To RehabUnderstand. To understand somebody, especially one that is dealing with something as difficult as addiction, one must first listen to and validate them. ... Talk to Somebody. ... Do Your Research. ... Schedule an Intervention. ... Lead With Compassion.Nov 8, 2019

How do you keep away yourself from any kind of addiction?

Take Small Steps To Setting Patterns. Patterns don't take hold instantly. ... Stay Away From Temptations That Help Feed Your Addiction Or Bad Habits. Staying away from temptations is a lot easier than you think. ... Replace Your Old Habits With New Similar Ones. ... Love Yourself.Apr 17, 2018

How do you convince someone to go to therapy?

How to Encourage Someone to See a TherapistShow Support. Misconception about mental health and therapy has intensified stigma in society. ... Be Sensitive to Timing and Place. Talking to someone about mental health requires emotional sensitivity as well as physical sensitivity. ... Prepare for Resistance. ... Offer to Help.Nov 20, 2017

How to support a spouse in rehab?

In order to fully support a loved one in rehab and ensuing recovery, carve out personal time to do things you enjoy. This helps to maintain a healthy outlook, retain optimism, and keep life well-rounded and filled with satisfying activities and friends. This way, there’s always something to look forward to, and there’s less likelihood that the non-addicted spouse will suffocate the recovering spouse in the process. When the loved one is attending meetings, for example, being able to do the things that bring you pleasure will soften that absence. In this way, both of you will be doing things that are crucial to staying healthy.

What to expect when spouse comes home after rehab?

Likely the spouse coming home after rehab feels some reticence and worries how the interpersonal dynamic will be altered now that they’re sober. Be intentional about showing love and affection and consistently expressing love, despite the challenges that may be experienced during the healing journey.

What is needed to support a loved one in rehab?

To support a loved one in rehab includes many things, although love and caring are at the top of the list. Yet, more than caring is needed in the rehab and recovery journey. Both the recovering individual and his or her spouse and family are intricately involved in recovery, as addiction affects the entire family.

What are the red lines for a recovering spouse?

Since the risks of relapse are real, it’s important to draw a clearly defined set of red lines (boundaries) to ensure there won’t be any enabling of destructive behaviors on the part of the recovering spouse, should they start again. Know firmly what will not be tolerated, such as squandering mortgage money on drugs or gambling, bailing the person out of jail after a DUI or arrest, or frequent hospitalizations due to alcohol-related injuries. Physical abuse or psychological distress should never be allowed to continue. A plan is definitely required to make sure the non-addicted spouse has a ready means of handling the situation, even leaving the home environment should it become violent or unstable.

Is it scary to go to rehab?

Going to Treatment Is a Step of Faith and Can Be Scary. When the addicted spouse finally makes the decision to seek help, it’s a cause for reluctant joy. Granted, this isn’t an easy decision for anyone to make, as going to rehab is both uncertain and scary for the one seeking help, as well as the spouse who wants to support a loved one in rehab.

What is an al anon group?

There are many Al-Anon style groups that provide support for family members of users. This type of support is enormously helpful and can mean the difference between endlessly struggling and burying resentment and finding the strength and resources so vital to ensure a safe and confident foundation in being able to be there for the spouse in rehab. For the spouse of an alcoholic, Al-Anon offers the emotional support and camaraderie of being with spouses of loved ones in rehab. Talking through difficult issues and hearing the success stories and suggestions from others in similar situations make this time feel less lonely and impossible. There’s strength in numbers as well as a sense of solidarity with others who are also in the trenches of addiction and recovery.

How to return home from rehab?

Returning home from rehab is a celebratory event. Make sure the home environment is both welcoming and functional to ensure the best possible re-entry to family life. Eliminate clutter. Perhaps paint a room or two to brighten the surroundings. Be sure there are no remaining alcohol or drug supplies or paraphernalia in the area. These could serve as triggers to use and quickly prompt an unwelcome relapse.

What is rehab therapy?

In most cases, rehab includes a combination of regular individual therapy sessions, group therapy, and a range of holistic therapies, among others. It’s a time for the patient to be focused on recovery, so it would be understandable if, during that time, you don’t hear from them as frequently as you might like.

What are the characteristics of a codependent person?

Codependency can make it difficult for individuals to have normal healthy relationships. Some of the common attributes of an individual who is codependent include: 1 A lack of boundaries 2 Fear of abandonment 3 A deep-rooted sense of responsibility for the behavior of others 4 Need for approval

Why do people develop codependency?

Codependence. It’s common for individuals to develop a co-dependency due to their relationship with someone with an addiction. Codependency occurs when an individual takes on the role of caregiver and sets aside their own needs. Typically, they derive a sense of satisfaction and fulfillment from being needed.

Can addiction be traumatizing?

Loved ones of individuals recovering from drug addiction and alcoholism may face some of those lasting after-effects such as depression, loss of trust, and emotional numbness. If those feelings are not addressed, they can be detrimental to your well-being, not to mention that of your partner.

What does it mean when a spouse enables their spouse?

When a spouse enables their partner, it removes consequences and many negatives that typically come with addiction.

Why is it important to create boundaries?

Creating boundaries also helps you stand your ground if those boundaries are crossed. It’s similar to drawing a line in the sand. Informing your partner of these boundaries will allow them to make the decision to cross them or not, as well as the consequences.

Do you have to tell your spouse you are addicted?

In fact, you don’t have to tell anyone until you are ready, you just need to admit it to yourself.

Is addiction a fault of spouse?

No matter how many times a person says it, addiction is not the fault of a partner or spouse. When a person struggles with addiction, they may blame those closest to them for their problems. This does not make it true and you are not to blame.

Can addiction change you?

Perhaps you were completely unaware of their addiction or didn’t believe their substance use was out of control. No matter the reason, when addiction treatment becomes a topic of conversation can be complicated and messy. Addiction can change a person, turn them into someone unrecognizable, even to those closest to them.

Is addiction a trait?

Addiction can change a person, turn them into someone unrecognizable, even to those closest to them. Addiction is not a flaw or personality trait. It is a chronic disease, and like many other diseases, there are treatment options available.

Can addiction affect anyone?

Addiction can affect anyone, regardless of age, sex, gender, or relationship status. The disease of addiction knows no limitation. Understanding the nature of addiction can help when you are deciding how to approach your spouse about their substance abuse.

Get Counseling

The first thing a person needs to do to be a successful supporter of an addicted spouse is to get help themselves. After witnessing our loved one go through the depths of addiction, we experience our own set of negative emotions that cause lasting harm and injury.

Stop Blaming

The blame game that is a ritual of addicts’ spouses must be put to an end immediately. “I lost this,” “it is their fault this happened,” “we have no friends because” are hurtful statements that are vindictive in nature and have no place in the recovery process.

Strength in Numbers

Finding a support group after alcohol or drug treatment can work wonders for the healing process and it is true that there is strength in numbers. There are many support groups locally that have people just like you who are need of help and having confidence in knowing that we aren’t alone can build resiliency.

The Element of Trust

Trust is another big component of support for the addicted spouse. They need to know that you believe in them, and when they tell you they aren’t using you need to believe them.

Be Vigilant

As we watch out partners struggle with addiction, don’t be surprised if there is a relapse to bad behavior – it happens more than we want to acknowledge. Keep a caring, watchful eye on your spouse – you’ve been down this road before and know what addiction looks like, so you’ll recognize it immediately.

Contact An Admissions Counselor

If you have coverage of any kind from a major insurance provider, your treatment is likely covered!

How to tell if your spouse is addicted to alcohol?

It can be painfully obvious when a partner’s alcohol use is becoming a problem. However, it’s often difficult for either the individual or the spouse to admit that there may be an alcohol addiction issue. The National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism has a list of symptoms that can help one to identify when a loved one is dealing with alcoholism, such as: 1 Spending less time doing favorite activities because of more time spent drinking or hungover 2 Having trouble keeping up with family or work responsibilities due to drinking 3 Continuing to drink even if it is causing trouble with family or friends 4 Regularly getting into risky situations while drunk, such as driving or operating machinery

What is the issue with an alcoholic spouse?

Another issue that can arise in a marriage with an individual who is alcoholic is codependency. Put very simply, a codependent relationship is one in which one partner’s behavior depends on the need to take care of or control another person.

What happens when a loved one goes to rehab?

When a loved one goes to rehab, you are both going through a stage of extreme transition. Change is hard and we are, as humans, genetically programmed to be resistant to change. If change doesn’t take place and you stay where you are or return to it, the outcome will be devastating.

How to support a loved one in rehab?

How you can support loved ones in rehab will depend on what stage of recovery they are in. There are four stages of recovery: 1 When you first take your loved one to rehab, tell him or her that you love them and you are proud of the life changing decision he or she is making. Tell your friend or family member to call when you two are ready to talk and you will be there no matter what. 2 After the first week or so, you need to be available to, make sure you keep reminding your loved one of how proud you are. Make sure you mail a postcard to show you are still there and you care. 3 After the first few weeks, you should physically go to the facility for your loved one. Make sure you come as often as you are able and allowed to. Some rehab centers even have family days, which means you can come and spend a day and take part in some of the activities as well. This gives you an opportunity to show them that you love them and are there for them. In addition, it also gives you a chance to really see what they are doing and how you can help when your friend or family member enters the real world. 4 If your loved one stays in extended treatment, keep doing what you have been doing. You showing up means more to your loved one than you could fathom.

How many stages of grief are there?

It is challenging to put someone into rehab; some psychologists have suggested that you will go through the “five stages of grief”, which are: Denial: you will be unwilling to acknowledge that your loved one is addicted to drugs and alcohol. It is likely that the concerned person will also be in this stage.

What happens when you go to rehab?

Afterwards, they will be placed under a medically supervised withdrawal to detox from toxic substances in their body. They may also have been prescribed different medication to help them deal with the withdrawal symptoms.

How long does it take for a patient to feel alive?

After Two Weeks. It will take a good two weeks before the patients really start to feel alive again. Once they get to that point, they can start to receive far more intensive counseling and training. They will continue to attend individual and group counseling sessions as well as workshops and educational classes.

What does acceptance mean in life?

You will also have a gap in your own life, as you are left to deal with things on your own. Acceptance: the light at the end of the tunnel. Acceptance does not mean all your problems are resolved, but rather, that changes are starting to be made, and that you can see where things will go from there.

How long does rehab last?

Most rehab stays last for about one month. However, it is known that if people stay longer, up to 90 days, they are more likely to remain sober as well. While some believe they would get too comfortable in their sheltered environment, research has shown that it takes more than a month to change the mindset away from previous, drug using, peers and environments.

How to participate in family therapy?

Participation in the family workshop is beneficial in several ways: 1 It allows the rehab counselors to gain input from the family, observe how the family interacts and learn more about family dynamics. 2 It can encourage your loved one to continue with their treatment program knowing the family supports them. 3 It offers your family member an opportunity to learn how the entire family has been affected by their addiction.

What are the effects of substance use disorder?

Effects of substance use disorders on the individual, family system, and individual family members, including children. Overview of recovery issues for the affected person (physical, psychological or emotional, social, family, spiritual and other) and how to measure outcomes.

Who is Buddy T?

Buddy T is an anonymous writer and founding member of the Online Al-Anon Outreach Committee with decades of experience writing about alcoholism. David Susman, PhD is a licensed clinical psychologist with experience providing treatment to individuals with mental illness and substance use concerns.

How to contact the SAMHSA?

If you or a loved one are struggling with substance use or addiction, contact the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helpline at 1-800-662-4357 for information on support and treatment facilities in your area. For more mental health resources, see our National Helpline Database.

Can you talk to someone in rehab?

Your loved one will have to tell you themselves. No, you cannot talk with them right now, but don't take it personally. In the early days of their rehab program, contact with the outside world will be highly restricted. They typically won't have access to media or the Internet either.

Is family therapy a therapy?

Family Workshop Is Not Therapy. Although there are many benefits to attending a family educational workshop while your family member is in rehab, 4  those sessions are not therapy. Many times these workshops will bring out strong feelings among family members, and they can become emotional.

Can a family member tell you they are in a health care facility?

Your family member is in a health care facility. Due to confidentiality concerns and federal privacy laws, the staff of the facility is prohibited from giving you any information about their situation . Your loved one will have to tell you themselves.

What to do if your loved one relapses?

Be Afraid of Sparking a Relapse Despite the myths, nothing you do or say you can cause him to relapse; you simply don’t have that much power. If your loved one relapses, it’s not your fault. You didn’t force him to do anything. Be honest about your feelings, without the fear of the consequences.

What to do before a loved one leaves rehab?

Before your loved one leaves rehab, he will sit down with counselors and develop a detailed aftercare plan. This will make his transition back into the “real” world much easier.

How to avoid making your own recovery plan?

Avoid Making Your Own Recovery Plan This is especially important if your addicted loved one is a teenager or still living at home. Make sure the plan has doable, realistic goals and consequences if he fails to meet those goals. Bring up the Past It’s a given that your loved one hurt you with his drug use.

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